Patience and Christmas Presents

This year for Christmas I got Cody what I think is the best present I've ever gotten him. I'm so excited I don't even know how I stand it! I am DETERMINED to not give him his present early like we have every year since we've been married. I was also determined to just pretend like I had no idea what I was getting him but then he came home and saw that I had been using his HDMI cable because I didn't plug it back in the right hole, port, whatever, And when he asked about it he knew it was about Christmas. I keep getting so tempted to just give it to him because hey, he's going to get it anyway, right? Right??? But then I got to really thinking about it. Yeah, I could give him his present early, nothing bad would happen. The world wouldn't end, I wouldn't be jeopardizing my eternal salvation or hurting anyone and I wouldn't have to wait and be patient anymore! And we would have, what, three extra weeks to enjoy it. But what if I do wait and do it properly? What then?? Well, first of all, I would be exercising my patient muscle. Secondly I wouldn't be taking the fun out of Christmas. Not having any presents to open Christmas morning isn't very fun.

There are some things in life that we know that one day we will have that we just have to wait for. It might take three days, three weeks, three months, three years, three decades, a whole lifetime! but eventually the promised blessing does come. Heavenly Father knows He's going to give it to us, so why make us wait? Well, because it has to be the right time. That's important. And we need to be given the opportunity to wait, especially for things that we really want. It helps us to learn patience and to learn to trust in the Lord and most importantly that we CAN trust in the Lord! That He will be there for us and that he will deliver as promised. Cody knows that I love him, and that he can trust me and that I know enough about him to get him a really great Christmas present. He knows that if he waits that he will eventually get his Christmas present--at the right time, that I'm not just going to promise it and then give it to someone else. 

I have also been given the unique opportunity to figure out how to do something on my own that normally I would have just asked Cody to do. Not only do I now have the great joy, pride and satisfaction of figuring it out and doing it all on my own but now I know that I CAN do it, and that I can do things on my own. And being able to show Cody those accomplishments makes the joy of giving him the present even sweeter. 

Think of all of the things we miss out on that we would not experience if we were always given what we want exactly when we want it, things you and I wouldn't even think of. Think of the great joy we can experience when we can tell our Heavenly Father, look what I did!! And how very proud of us He would be.

I am grateful for the opportunities that I have had to wait, even though I don't like them. At all. I am grateful for the things that I have learned. I would wait again and again to know my Heavenly Father and my Savior the way I know them now. To feel that love, to know what I know, and to know that I can do it! I can wait, I can find joy, I can survive the trial and come out stronger and better.

Yeah, it's just a Christmas present, and it's just three weeks, but if I can't wait and be patient for something as small as that then I am definitely not applying what I have learned.

Life Lessons

I'm teaching the lesson in Young Women's this Sunday. The lesson I'm teaching is "How can I find solutions to my challenges and problems?" I'm going to have the YW tell me problems and challenges that they face in their lives and we're going to write them down on the board then I'm going to have them draw pieces of paper out of a box. The box is going to be a "toolbox" and written on the slips of paper are going to be "tools" that Heavenly Father as given us to help us with our challenges and problems. Things like prayer, scriptures, attending church and the temple, etc...then we'll talk about how they can use those "tools" to help them with their problems. I can't take credit for that great idea, I have the Holy Ghost to thank for that one! Yesterday I was writing down a list of "tools" to put in the box and one I thought of was "Remembering." And I thought, remembering what? Well, remembering that the Lord is there and what He has done for his people in the past, but more importantly, remembering what He has done for ME in the past. Remembering that He loves me and that I've experienced His timing and that I know that His timing is perfect, and that He answers prayers differently than I would have Him answer them but that I wouldn't have it any other way. Except for when I forgot, lol. And most importantly, remembering that I have faced, and survived, some very hard things, and that with the Lord's help I can, and will, get through future trials, too.  It's been a tough month, seriously the ENTIRE MONTH! I thought I was doing good working on getting my muscles better but I have been experiencing some serious pain this month and now where I thought I knew what my game plan was, I'm now having to figure it all out again, and I'm at a loss. So frustrating. Add on to that some insecurities that I've been struggling with and we've been having a great month. My "tools" have been getting some good use lately. Sometimes you just have to set aside everything else and pull out your faith tool! And hang on with all you've got! Because sometimes holding on to your Anchor, to Christ, is the only thing that is going to get you through. I am grateful for Him. And I'm grateful that I'm giving this lesson this week so that I can give myself a little perspective and remember, and hold on, and count my blessings, for they are many. My window of heaven is more than overflowing and I just need to REMEMBER that! Now hopefully the Young Women will learn something that they can put in their "toolbox" to help them through the hard trials that they will face in the future. 

10 things I love about Krystal Wilkerson

Krystal's birthday is today! She is the big 30! She likes to do a "10 things I like about so-and-so" post when it is their birthday but I didn't think she would do one for herself, so I thought I'd do it for her!!

So here are 10 things I love about Krystal

1. She is so considerate and she has the talent/gift of loving others.
--Krystal is always thinking of others. The last time we went to visit them in Logan, she had a little separate guest gifts for me, Cody and Elise that were so thoughtful. She is always telling others that she loves them, something that I wish I could be braver and learn to do more often.

2. She is so good at hand stitching and making quiet books.
--Krystal's quiet books are amazing. To me they look professional and I'm amazed at how good she hand stitches.

3. She has great attention to detail.
--I marvel at the little details in Krystal's quiet books. She takes the time to do things--and to do them nicely--that I would either just leave out or would do a quick, lazy job of. Her attention to detail is also seen in her consideration of others, the decorating of her house, her parenting and her traditions.

4. She is really good at decorating.
--Krystal has decorated her house so cute. It was seeing how well her house was decorated and how it made her home feel complete that inspired me to put more thought in the decoration of my home. (Not that I've done much, yet...lol)

5. She is a good mom.
--I know Krystal doesn't always think she is being a good mom and that she gets impatient with Elaina but I admire the effort that Krystal puts into teaching Elaina and playing with her and the fun things that she does with her. I greatly admire that she is teaching her in the Montessori method.

6. She has traditions
--I love that Krystal has started her own family traditions and that she does them without fail every year. What fun memories she is starting for her family!

6. She is a good sister and friend. She listens to me complain. We are a lot a like
--These three go together but are worth mentioning separately. Not only is Krystal good at listening to me complain but when I do complain to her about things she almost always understands exactly how I feel because we are a lot a like and she usually feels the same way about the situation as I do. Even our own mothers and daughters are similar! And of course our husbands, because they are Wilkerson boys *insert eye roll here* Another benefit of us being a like is I'm not the only impatient Wilkerson girl!

*These two are a little selfish ;)*

7. She is fun to tease
--Which means when she is around I don't get teased! Haha Well, that's not true cause I'm a pretty easy target, but it does add to the fun :)

9. She laughs at my husband's jokes
 --So I don't have to! ;) And she sincerely thinks he is funny! Which makes me think I should maybe appreciate my husband's sense of humor a little more....

10. She is who she is
--Krystal is who she is and isn't trying to be anyone else. She spends her effort working on bettering herself than trying to be someone different. And I love who she is!

Love you, sister! Hope you have a great 30th birthday!!!

Success!

My house is so much cleaner and feels so much better and I feel like I'm doing less work instead of more. I love it! Yesterday was my "clean the kitchen" day. After I put the babe down for her nap I came downstairs to clean the kitchen but lo and behold....it was already mostly clean! The dishes were done and I had wiped the counters down the night before. So what did I do?? I took the opportunity to organize my kitchen cupboards and I loved it! Then I took a little bit of time to sanitize the counter tops and sweep the floor and voila! I was done and my cupboards were organized, which is something I've been meaning to get to for a while. Tonight I told Cody that he was in charge of dishes which pretty much consisted of the crock pot, our plates and like one or two other random dishes. He keeps telling me that the house feels so much better.

Of course I'm not getting to bed on time like I want to...baby steps :)

Project 7 am -- Day 5

I did it! I made it through five days of waking up at 7 am and it was worth it!! I am so glad I did it and I will keep doing it! Sunday night I will start Project 11 pm, in which I strive to be IN BED and ready to go to sleep by 11 pm. Wish me lots and lots and lots and LOTS of luck!!

What goals are you working on and what do you do to motivate yourself to keep at it??

Timing and Tender Mercies

Heavenly Father is big on timing. I'm big on having what I want right now! Or not ever having to do what I don't want to do. So you could say that sometimes we clash. But then there are those moments when everything comes together and you know that it was because of God's timing and you know that it was just for you and that He loves you. I had one of those moments this morning. I'm not going to go into details, but one moment I was having a hard time and the next second, before things could get worse, God was there at the perfect time telling me that He was there and He knew and He understood and that He was with me. It was such a small thing, but it was exactly what I needed, it was....perfect. Afterwards, when I was saying my morning prayers, I won't give up by Jason Mraz came into my head, and again I knew that He was there and I felt the Spirit so strongly. Even though I get impatient and I want to throw tantrums and throw around words such as "fair," I am so thankful for the timing of the Lord and I'm thankful that He doesn't give into my timing no matter how unreasonable I am. And even more that He continues to love me and care for me and want the best for me when I lose sight of eternity and falter in trusting Him. Mostly I'm just so thankful for Him <3

Project 7 am -- Day 3

Day 3! For three days in a row I have woken up at 7 am, read my scriptures and exercised! I'm feeling pretty good about that :) I'm so proud of myself! And I checked out the Fly Lady today. I got some good ideas, I just need to spend some more time on the website and decide what I like and want to incorporate into the routine that I am already working on. All in all it was a pretty good day. I can't wait to see what is in store for tomorrow!!

Project 7 am -- Day 2

I did it again! I woke up at 7 am and prayed and read my scriptures and it felt so good! And it was easier to wake up this morning than it was yesterday. I just have to remind myself that the benefits of scriptures and prayer far outweigh the benefit of sleeping another 30 minutes. My day wasn't as great but it was still good. Today was my day to foam roll and just stretch and stretching is not something I am great at. I ran out of time to do the full stretching I wanted to do but I do feel like a made a little bit of progress with my stretching.  Good news is I can try again Thursday! Leese and I went to Vernal today. It was nice to get out and get a few things done but when I got home a few things happened and I let myself get frustrated, which is what made my day not as good as yesterday. But I turned it around and I'm ready to try again tomorrow. Regardless of how my day went, I know that waking up at 7 am is what I need to be doing and that I'm being blessed for it. And even if I have a really bad day at least I took time to talk to God and to let Him talk to me by reading my scriptures so no matter how bad my day is, it's better than it could have been because I made time for Him.

Project 7 am -- Day 1

I really struggle with organization. After 14 months of being home with Elise I am still trying to figure out a schedule that works. I"ll spare you 14 months of details and skip ahead to last week. Last week I decided that what I need to do is wake up before Elise does and pray and read my scriptures instead of waiting until she goes down for her first nap to do those things. Which means I have to wake up at 7 am and I am not a morning person. I also struggle with going to bed early enough to get enough sleep, so this a double whammy on both sides. I didn't get to bed as early as I wanted to last night so when Cody's alarm went off at 7 am I wasn't so sure whether I'd be going back to bed or sticking with my goal, but I did! And it felt amazing!! And the rest of my day went great, too! I got everything done on my to-do list that was important and I even got a few extra things done! And even though I didn't get a full 8 hours of sleep I wasn't tired, I had enough energy all day. Well, until now, I am pretty tired now, but I'm hoping that will help me get to bed earlier and fall asleep easier so that I can get enough sleep tonight! But I'm not holding my breathe on that one. Half the battle was succeeding today, the other half of the battle will be not letting my guard down tomorrow because I did so well today. Wish me luck!!

Something to think about--Movie Experiment

Cody and I have had four movie passes burning a hole in our pockets ever since July!!! Unfortunately, nothing good has been in the theaters lately except for a couple weeks when we wanted to go but couldn't. Last week I saw that Prisoners was coming and I thought it looked good so we planned on going to see that. I thought the movie was PG-13 but Cody noticed that it was R when we were driving by the theater a couple days ago. I was disappointed that it is R but glad that we didn't unknowingly try to go see an R rated movie. When I thought about that I got thinking, what if we had gone to see the movie and never even noticed it was R, how much of the movie would we have sat through before we walked out? Would we have even walked out? I hope we would have. As I was thinking about that the Pysch Major came out in me. What would be the result of an experiment where you take people who don't watch R rated movies, and show them a movie that is rated R but tell them that it's PG-13? Would they walk out? At what point would they walk out? What would be the factor that would make them decide to leave? Or would they stay the whole time because they thought it was rated PG-13? I would postulate that most of the people would stay, though I hope I would be wrong. It would depend on the movie though because some R rated ones are way worse than others, just like some PG-13 movies are way worse than others. Movies are getting worse as more sex, violence and language are becoming acceptable in PG-13 movies. When I watch movies that are PG-13 sometimes I think that there is no way I would want my 13 year old watching this stuff, a lot of it is too inappropriate for me! But because it's so acceptable we just...accept it. It's okay that they said the f-word once, because it's PG-13 and I know they won't be saying it again. Oh wait, now they can say it twice in a PG-13 movie?? Well, that's okay, as long as it's only twice. Boobs in the Total Recall remake? Oh that's okay, too, because obviously three boobs is fake and it only showed it for a second. Sex in Twilight? That's okay because it's Twilight and they're finally married and in love and that's what happens in the book!! But what if your 13 year old was sitting next to you?? Gives you something to think about. How much will I put up with because I can close my eyes or fast forward or because, hey, it's just a little bit and it's not R so it's okay, right? When someone says "This movie is SO good and it's only rated R because of one scene and we can just fast forward through it" it can be pretty tempting to watch that movie. Reminds me of the visual aid given at a fireside where the speaker put a little bit of dog poop in a burrito and then said, "it's okay, it's just a little bit, right?" Would you just eat around the dog poop??

This also got me thinking about the music I listen to. When I'm listening to Pandora and Elise is with me and the song is bad I change it, but not always when she isn't with me, cause it's just a little bit of language and sexual innuendo and I'm old enough to listen to it, right? Plus it's such a good song to dance to!

Which then also got me thinking about how we are supposed to be like little children, and probably if it's inappropriate for my child it's inappropriate for me. That's kind of hard to swallow because if I think really honestly about it, the shows and movies I watch and the music I listen to isn't always stuff I'd let Elise watch. Not that it's really bad, but it's bad enough that Elise doesn't need to be exposed to it.

And I think about the books on my book shelves. Is every single book on my book shelf one I would be okay with Elise picking up and reading? That I can almost certainly answer yes to. I need to go through them and make sure but awhile ago I did go through them with that purpose in mind. Books are a lot easier to give up than shows and music.

Something to think about. Definitely something for me to think about.

When it rains it pours

Without getting into details let's just say that last week had more down points than is normal for me. They weren't huge or awful or end of the world things, but just a lot of little things. Saturday the thought came to me, "When it rains it pours." And then I started thinking about why that is. Why is it that all the bad things happen at once? A couple thoughts came to me. 1) When we are focused on the negative we see more negative. 2) Sometimes it's a test and/or to strengthen us or to teach us something. 3) Sometimes we bring it on ourselves. Part of my bad stuff last week I think I was kind of bringing on myself, but the rest I think may have been teaching me patience and turning the other cheek. Did I learn it? Well, I don't know, but I passed the test pretty well! Still really bothers me when I think about it though. Argh!

But getting back to #1! I try to stay really positive and look for the good and the blessings in things. I know that when a trial happens that God is right there making the trials a little easier than they would be without Him. I look back on certain trials and I think how grateful I am for the timing or circumstances of them and how lucky I am that they happened they way they did. For example this morning, I do not feel good and Leese does not want to nap but she's not up there screaming and I'm feeling well enough to take care of her. The last time I was sick I was WAY sick but it was a weekend and Cody was home to take care of the babe :)

I keep getting off track! My point is, that whatever you're looking for is what you're going to see. If you think that everything goes wrong then even when something good happens you're probably going to see the ways in which it could have been better. I know, I've been there. And you're less likely to notice when things go a little bit better than they did the last time around, or that they are better than they were yesterday or last week or last month. But when you try to focus on the positive and see the good in the bad, then that's what you'll see more of! I took a Positive Psychology class in college--a class I think EVERYONE should take and if you aren't in a situation to take it then you should at least read "The How of Happiness." I have it if anyone would like to borrow it. But getting back on point, one of our assignments was to write down three things we were grateful for every night before we went to bed. What I found was that when I was looking back on my day trying to find the tender mercies, I thought of so many that some nights I could have been up all night writing them! Even though I had some not so good moments last week, I can still see the good in them and I am grateful for that. And you know what, I not only learned that from my Positive Psychology class I but also from the hardest trial of my life. Look, I am learning! Go me :)

So my main point is that yeah, when it rains it pours. When bad things happen sometimes they happen all at once. But that also goes for the good things. When it rains blessings sometimes it just pours blessings! And that makes it worth going through the bad rain. I would walk through bad rain anytime to get to the marvelous blessing rain that is promised to us if we are faithful.

Do any of you have a special trick you use to see the positive/tender mercies in a bad situation?

Counting my blessings

Elise is on CHIPS and it's time for her year review so the last week I had to go down to DWS to turn in some paperwork. When I was there and saw the other people who were there to get assistance and heard them tell the DWS employees their stories I was struck by how lucky I am. I know that if anything every happened to us that our families would be there for us. We would not be homeless, we would not go hungry. Because of the great blessing of tithing and the great blessing of family I know that we would be taken care of and I am so grateful for both of these things that the Lord has blessed us with. Putting us here in families was such a great idea! If there was a feedback box to heaven, I would be writing that on the card. Instead maybe I'll just mention it in my prayers tonight ;) So thank you to those family members who may be reading this. We love you and very much appreciate all that you do for us, and we count you among our greatest blessings :)

Bad Day

The other day I had a bad day. Emotionally I felt raw, like Satan had been following me around with a cheese grater all day. By the end of the day I was done. After praying that night, I realized that I hadn't read my scriptures that day. It was late and I was tired so I pulled out my scriptures and started reading the highlighted verses on the first page I turned to. I wasn't expecting to get much out of my brief and thoughtless study session and then I read the first part of Isaiah 51:12.

"I, even I, am he that comforteth you."

My Savior is the one who comforts me. Even Him. On days that I feel like Satan is there, I need to remember that my Savior is also there, putting Himself in between me and that cheese grater, so that it's easier to bare. He knows exactly how I feel. He is always there. He is there listening to me pray at the end of a bad day, and guiding my scripture study, so that I can get out of it exactly what I need at that moment. He is amazing. And I matter to Him. He is intentional in the way that He cares for me and loves me and is there for me. He knows what is coming, He knows who I am, He knows my heart and that my intentions are good but sometimes I just mess up. He knows when and why I hurt and how that feels and He knows how to comfort every little hurt, individually. He knows, and He is there. And He, even the Savior of the world, is He that comforteth me. And I matter to Him. And at the end of the day, that's what should matter to me. I love Him and I am so grateful for Him and for the knowledge that He is always there, and He cares.

Catching up with myself

I don't know why but I seem to always be sooo busy. Plus I've lost my mind and can't remember anything. So the last couple of times I blogged, I blogged more than one entry. I have so much going on in my head that I want to get down and I don't always have the time to blog what's in my head when I want to, so when I finally get a chance-and remember to do it-I usually end up blogging my brains out!! Which results in multiple entries. So, I hope that doesn't turn anyone off. One of my many goals is to blog more frequently so as to now have this happen.

What do you do to make time to blog?

We believe we are daughters of God

I got called to Young Women's! I am excited about this new calling. I feel that I have talents and knowledge that God wants me to use to help these Young Women. Most of all I hope that I can teach them not only about God but confidence in themselves. As I sat in Young Women's today, the first time I've been there in 13 years!!, I thought of when Elise will be in Young Women's, I can't wait for that! I loved being in Young Women's, and I'm glad that Elise will get to experience Young Women's, too. I am so grateful for my Young Women's leaders. One of them helped me to become active and the rest helped me to stay active. I have fond memories of my leaders and the other girls in my ward. I owe so much to them and I hope to be the influence in these girls' lives that God intends for me to be by putting me in this calling.

The widows of heaven

There isn't much that embarrasses me but not being able to keep my finances under control kind of does. Not because I care what other people think about it but because I know that I should be better at it and more importantly I know HOW to be better at it. But the knowing doesn't always translate into the doing.

When we lived in Orem I was on top of things. What helped the most was living down the street from Walmart and having cheap eating and entertainment options close by. We had so many places we could go out for dinner or a treat that wouldn't put us over our budget. And we had a dollar theater close by. Oh how I miss the the dollar theater!

When we moved in with my in-laws my MIL did all the grocery shopping and cooking. And both Cody and I were working full time without having to pay for rent or utilities or food. We developed a lot of bad spending habits. When we moved into our own home, not only was I pregnant and just off of bed rest, but I was so used to Carma taking care of dinner that come Monday I would realize that not only did I not think to make a weekly menu but going grocery shopping had been the furthest thing from my mind! And on top of that we had picked up the bad habit of eating out. And places to eat in Roosevelt, unless you go to McDonald's, are not the cheapest place to eat. Nor is there much variety.

I'm happy to report that I did finally get back on the wagon. Every week I make a weekly menu and do the grocery shopping and we hardly ever eat out anymore. Which is both good for our budget and our bellies. We have resumed or old money saving tricks and are learning new ones.

But we still struggle with our budget! Not only are there so many fun things that we want to buy but we have the added baby expenses and as we have been working on getting our house in order we have had to buy things to help us do that. Plus I don't work full time anymore. I do bring in a little bit of money, which helps, but it doesn't save our budget.

We've been thinking for a while that we need to get a handle on this, and now we are finally getting serious about it. No more of this, it's okay we have savings. No! If we don't have the money, or if it's not essential, then no, we aren't buying it! This last time we got paid I had decided beforehand that we were going to try the envelope budget. Actually physically using envelopes, I pulled them out and everything and had them ready to go. And then we got paid and didn't have any money to put in said envelopes. Sad, but it's a start! It makes us more aware of our situation and what we need to do to fix it.

Why am I telling you all this? well, partly because sometimes when I get going I ramble on and on but mostly because I want to share this with you:

I have a HUGE testimony of tithing. I love tithing. I could never not pay it. I used to sometimes think of how much money that was and what I could do if I had it. Now I know it wouldn't even be worth it to have that much extra money to add to my budget. The blessings far outweigh the money. If I could put the blessings on my budget spreadsheet it would be so big it would take days for my computer to open the file.

Tithing has brought us amazing blessings. Tithing brought us to Roosevelt, got me my job at the hospital, got Cody his dream job at the paper, got us this amazing house with the amazing house payment, got me a job writing book reviews for the paper, and allows me to stay at home with my baby girl. Tithing is AMAZING!!!

But in my testimony and extreme gratefulness of tithing, there is a thought that had not yet made itself known to me. I pay a perfect tithing, and in my mind, I receive these blessings because I pay a perfect tithing and because I strive to live within my means and I worked hard to stay home with Elise. But what about when I mess up? What about when I overspend, again and again? What about when God blesses me with help and despite my best intentions, I mess it up? What then?

We have had a couple paydays recently where the check was more than I anticipated when we really needed it. And both of those times I knew that God was giving us an opportunity to do better. He was giving us higher ground to start from so that we would have a better chance of succeeding instead of being trapped in a hole that just gets deeper and deeper. We were extremely grateful for those opportunities, and while we tried to make the best of them, we weren't perfect. We still ended up over spending a bit. Sometimes for food or unnecessary items, and sometimes for unexpected expenses.

After realizing that I didn't have money to put in envelopes, and being serious about not overspending, we determined that we would not buy anything, until we got paid again. --Don't be alarmed, this was after we bought enough food to last us until the next payday!--

And then I randomly logged onto my online account to see where we were, and saw that someone had transferred money into our account. It wasn't a lot, but it was enough. Enough to give us the hope of not having to start from zero next payday. Enough that if we needed to spend a little money on something in the next two weeks we could do so knowing that we had the money to spend.

I didn't think much of this person putting money into my account until the Spirit whispered something to me I would not have thought of. This was from Him. This was Him helping us again, even though we had messed up the last two opportunities He had given us. He wants us to succeed, and He wasn't going to just give us only two opportunities to do so. He knows that we are human and that we will make mistakes and he also knows that we have good intentions, that our hearts and our goals are in the right place. As long as we are striving, and doing the best we can, even though we mess up, He will help us all He can, again and again. Such a simple truth that I should have already know, but I was blown away. I thought that I had disqualified myself from receiving His help again and that I was on my own, but I was wrong. And I was grateful that I was wrong. My testimony has been stretched to include a new testimony of His love and mercy, for me. And I am so grateful for that learning opportunity.

Poem du jour

It's been a loooong time since I have written a poem, but I kinda did tonight, and I wanted to share it with you guys <3 Enjoy!

Racing the Dark

the Dark is not my friend
well, it is
but its not
not tonight
tonight im alone in my car
running later than expected
racing the Dark home
im tempted to speed
to take chances to win
but thats not me anymore
this new me
the me im working on becoming
her heart is at home
simultaneously upstairs sleeping in the crib
and downstairs on the couch watching futurama
(sometimes my heart has bad taste)
as it becomes obviously clear that ive lost this...
battle?
war?
scrimmage...
as it becomes obviously clear that ive lost this scrimmage
 im driving in the almost Dark
wishing id gotten a bigger cherry soda
i know that ill make it home to my heart
Dark or no Dark
and i know that i have won after all

Trouble's on the Menu--Book Review

Hi friends! I'm going to be posting my book review articles on my blog. If you have any creative comments about my writing, let me know!

Brittany’s book review: Trouble’s on the menu - proves interesting

By Brittany Wilkerson
Uintah Basin Standard

I love curling up on the
couch with a blanket and a
good book. Even better is
when it is actually cold and
snowing, which it isn’t. At
the moment it is sweltering
outside, which, sadly, isn’t
very conducive to a blanket at
the moment. So I was fortunate
enough to happen upon a book
that made me feel like it was
blizzarding outside!

“Trouble’s on The Menu: A
Tippy Canoe Romp” by Caleb
Warnock and Betsy Schow,
released April 2013, takes
place in a small Montana town
where it is cold enough to curl
up with two blankets to read a
book!

Upon her estranged husband’s
death, Hallie Stone
finds herself in Tippy Canoe,
Mont., where her goal is to
settle his accounts and be in
and out as soon as possible.
Hallie ends up staying longer
than she planned when the
town mayor starts taking an
interest in her and then things
don’t go as expected. But when
everything starts going awry
she has to decide whether to
stay and help out or head for
home in a hurry!

“Trouble’s on the Menu: A
Tippy Canoe Romp” was a fun
and easy read. I was able to get
into it right away and wanted
to keep reading.

I enjoyed all the characters,
with the exception of the villian.
Their personalities were
varied and kept things interesting-
especially Ula!

My favorite part of the
book is the underlying theme
of how things work out in the
craziest of ways.

My other favorite part of
the book is the recipes in the
back. Some of the food in the
book sounded so delicious that
I wanted to give them a try and
now I don’t have to hunt down
the recipes!

This book would make a
great book club selection. It’s
a quick read, appropriate for
all ages and offers a few great
topics of discussion.

Warnock is the original author
of “Troubles on the Menu:
A Tippy Canoe Romp.” When
he asked his writing students to
read and comment on the first
chapter, Schow had so many
great ideas, that he asked her to
help co-author it with him.

Warnock has written three
other books. You can read
more about him and his books
by visiting calebwarnock.
blogspot.com/.

Schow lives in Alpine,
Utah. This is her second novel.
The first, “Finished Being Fat”
was published January of this
year. She has a young adult
fiction novel set to be released
sometime in the future.

Schow hopes readers “take
‘Troubles on the Menu’ for
what it is and enjoy it. Enjoy
the ride. If I’ve made you
laugh for a couple of minutes
then I’ve done my job.”
For more information about
Schow visit www.betsyschow.
com.

“Troubles on the Menu: A
Tippy Canoe Romp” can be
purchased online at Amazon.
com and BarnesandNoble.com
and at Cedar Fort Publishing.

Editor’s Note: The Uintah
Basin Standard has donated
a copy of “Troubles on the
Menu: A Tippy Canoe Romp”
by Caleb Warnock and Betsy
Schow to the Roosevelt Library

I'm famous!

I write book review articles for the two newspapers out here and they ran an article about me writing articles! How about that! So just in case you  need to hear more amazing things about me today I've included the article for your enjoyment :)

Uintah Basin Standard

Wilkerson includes author interviews with every book review


By John Plestina

jplestina@ubmedia.biz

 With 12 book reviews
published in the Uintah Basin
Standard and Vernal Express
since December 2012 to her
credit, Brittany Wilkerson
plans many more, and maybe
future books with her name as
the author on the cover.

 It began with the two local
newspapers asking Wilkerson
to read and review books.

 Wilkerson reads an average
of one book per week, usually
250-300 words each.

 “I can read that in one day,”
she said.

 The reviews have not been
every week.

 “This month, I’m trying to
do four,” Wilkerson said.

 She chooses the books she
is going to read and review.
They must be new releases
and must be written by Utah
authors.

 “If a book is a new
release and it’s by a
Utah author, I always
like to have people
recommend them to
me,” Wilkerson said.

 “All of the books
are clean and young
adult type. That’s what
I’d rather read,” she
said.

 Two upcoming
reviews are of books
written by local authors.


 “The next book I
am reviewing is called
“Checking Out” by
Clair M. Poulson,” she
said.

 Poulson was born
and raised in Duchesne,
is a former
Duchesne County
sheriff and currently
serves as justice court
judge for Duchesne
County.

 “He will be at the Uintah
County Library in Vernal next
Thursday (Aug. 15). I will be
going to interview him and to
get his book signed so that we
can give it away in a contest of
some sort,” Wilkerson said.

 Another upcoming review
is of “Stung,” a book by
Bethany Wiggins of Vernal.

 The interviews and reviews
of the books by Poulson and
Wiggins are the first two books
by Uintah Basin authors that
Wilkerson will review.

 Her favorite author is Brandon
Sanderson. He teaches at
Brigham Young University.

 One thing that sets Wilkerson
aside from some other
book reviewers is she always
interviews the author.

 “That’s fun. I always enjoy
doing that,” she said.

 Being an avid reader and
writing book reviews begs the
question of whether Wilkerson
envisions herself as an author.

 “I don’t know. I’ve thought
about it. I came to a conclusion
that if I write a book it will be
non-fiction,” Wilkerson said.
“Cody (her husband) really
wants me to.”

 “I have always thought
about writing my own book,
but I just can’t come up with
enough of a story to write one,
especially an ending. As I’ve
been writing these reviews,
I’ve realized that I could
actually write a non-fiction
book if it was something I was
passionate and knowledgeable
about,” Wilkerson said.

 She said authors she has
interviewed have encouraged
her to write and to consider
publishing an e-book.

 “Cindy Bennett is an
author I interviewed who has
a few books that she has self-
published. Carole Rummage
is another author I interviewed
who told me she was 60 when
she wrote her first book. She
was encouraged by a group of
authors she met regularly with.
She had no idea how her book
was going to end but it ended
up writing itself. That made
me start thinking that perhaps
I could write a fiction novel,”
Wilkerson said.

 She said talking to authors
encourages and inspires her.

 Wilkerson said she must
feel passionate about what she
is writing about and wants to
write something that would
help someone.

 She has written two short
unpublished books to help
friends. They are, “How To
keep Your Child Alive For
The First Three Months”
and “Dedication, Determination,
Communication and No
French Kissing,” a short book
Wilkerson wrote for a friend.

 “The title came about when
she (the friend) was dating
her husband and she asked
me how Cody and I managed
to stay good and make it to
the temple,” Wilkerson said,
adding that she told her friend
she should consider dedication,
determination, communication
and no French kissing. The
friend suggested that she write
a book and she did.

 Wilkerson grew up in
Taylorsville and has lived in
Roosevelt for two years. Her
husband, Cody, grew up in
Roosevelt and works for the
Uintah Basin Standard. They
have a daughter, Elise, 1.

 The Uintah Basin Standard
and Vernal Express donates
every book Wilkerson reviews
to the Roosevelt Library.

 All of Wilkerson’s reviews
appear in both newspapers.

Tender mercies

Today was not bad, like at all. I woke up this morning convinced that it was going to be a bad day. I could feel a sore throat coming on and my hips/rumpus muscles were killing me yesterday and I knew that Cody wouldn't be home tonight so I was hoping that my muscles would be feeling good enough that I would be able to put Elise down for bed without having to call someone over to come help me. Yesterday L&L told me that my alternator and thermostat need to be replaced and they would be nice enough to do it for about $1000 so today I knew I would need to call around to see how much other places would charge. My throat is still a little sore but it hasn't been bad. Most of the day it actually has felt pretty alright. Thanks to Tylenol Severe Cold and Flu. I love that stuff <3 My first tender mercy this morning, before I had taken the Tylenol. was that I miraculously didn't spill baby food everywhere when I found myself accidentally hitting the spoon that was in the baby food container. A small thing, yes, but at that  moment it was big. The next tender mercy was the Tylenol. Once I got the babe to sleep I took a shower and was in the mood to NOT do my hair. First I decided that I was going to just put it in french braids and then I decided to not do it at all, just let it air dry, which means I would not be able to do my hair decently until I washed it again. But something told me to do it, so I did, and it looked good! Turns out, I the newspaper is doing an article on me and they took my picture for the article today. Phew! Tender mercy!! I decided to take Leese to Arby's for dinner and then drive her over to Grandma's house since Dad wouldn't be home and really I was bored and hungry. My car--which I should not have been driving around anyway--died in the drive thru. This very nice Arby's employee pushed my car out of the way and then brought me my food when it was ready. Tender mercy! I told her manager how awesome she is. Cody came and rescued me. He jumped my car and followed me home. All because I was LUCKY enough to break down at 4:45 pm instead of in the middle of his busy day or after he had already gone fishing. Tender mercy! And the piece de resistance, my muscles didn't hurt at all today. That's actually more of a miracle than a tender mercy, but it can go on the tender mercy list :) Hooray for tender mercies!

I love when bad things happen at a good time :) It reminds me of how aware God is of me. I can recall a few times that I have been grateful that a bad thing happened when it did instead of at a much worse time. The bad things are going to happen, so I'm grateful that when they do, God is there to help the bad things be the best that they can be :)

I don't know about Taylor Swift, but we're feeling 32

I turned 31 a week ago on the 28th and Elise turned one a few days later on the 31st. So WE are now 32! I took her in for her one week well child check on Friday. I can remember so well taking her for her well child checks when she was first born. I can remember the feeling of those first weeks of being a mom. Elise was 5 lbs 5 oz when she was born, so small! I kept wishing for her to be bigger so that I would feel less nervous about her. Yet, when it came time to put her newborn sized clothes away that was a very sad moment for me. She will never be that small again! When I think back on my life there isn't anything, no matter how much I enjoyed it, that I would want to go back and do again, except for the first year of Elise's life. Or maybe just the first 6 weeks! I would like to go back and do it again knowing what I know now and just be able to enjoy it. There was such a different feel to it. We lived on the couch in the front room for those first 6 weeks. She slept a lot! I spent all those naps reading The Spook's Apprentice series and watching White Collar, which my mother got me onto when she stayed a week after Elise was born. I'm grateful that Elise is 1. She is so happy and so much fun and it's fun to see her learn new things and get new teeth and change so much so quickly, but it has been a year learning to appreciate things as they are now. So perhaps I should spend more time appreciating the here and now with Elise instead of wishing for one more chance to have her as a newborn again! Yet I still find myself looking forward to when she can walk and talk and be potty trained and take care of herself! Oh, will I ever really learn??

Jammin'

I made my very first batch of homemade jam last night! I made Strawberry jam using Strawberries from my garden, and it turned out really yummy! It was also surprisingly easy even though I had the hardest time starting. I kept worrying that I would do it wrong. It reminded me of the talk by Elder Uchtdorf about being in the middle. It's kind of a hard concept to grasp but from my understanding he says that we should act as though we are always in the middle of something so that we keep up our best efforts until the end so that we don't slack off because we are almost done with that particular project or phase of our lives. I am very guilty of that! The other aspect of it was that sometimes people have a hard time beginning, so if we act as though we are in the in the middle of something, it makes it easier to start. I get keeping up our best efforts til the end, I can figure out a way to make that work for me, but that other part is hard. I don't always falter in starting something but when I do, it is quite the struggle. I don't know how to act as though I am in the middle to start, I do however know how to tell myself that if I mess up making jam, its okay. Sometimes I don't believe myself, though. But it's true! If I had messed up my jam it would have been alright. I could have learned from the experience and tried again. No one would have thought ill of me, God would not have disowned me, and life would have gone on. It's just jam for goodness sake!! There are so many things that Satan doesn't want us to start and I am so grateful for a Heavenly Father who helps me realize that and who accepts my mistakes. And I love that I can make my own things!

Writer's Block..not good for you like sun block

Sigh. I have writer's block. Usually when I read a book that I'm reviewing the article just comes to me. Without me having to exert any sort of effort whatsoever other than reading the book it just comes to me and I end up writing my article in my head wen I'm supposed to be sleeping. But ever since I reviewed my first non-fiction book I've been struggling. I didn't really like that particular book and it was the first time that I wrote an intro that didn't work. I had to rewrite it and ever since it has been a struggle to come up with intros for my articles. I want so bad to blame it on this book and call it names but really I think it all boils down to confidence. I had confidence that my intros were good and now I'm shaken. The truth is my intros ARE good. But after having to rewrite just that one, it's like I can't get it back into gear. Like when you've been going full steam ahead and something throws you from the track and you're left wondering where in the world the track went. I just finished reading The Rhithmatist by Brandon Sanderson. First of all, Brandon Sanderson is my favorite author and second of all I really liked this book, which makes reviewing it a million times easier Yet, I still find myself struggling to come up with an intro to this article. I have a couple faint ideas, but it's not the "move over everything else going on in my head, we gotta make room for this fantastic intro that's just going to come to us" sort of thing. I realized yesterday that it's hard to all of a sudden have to work hard at something that normally just comes naturally. Like trying to keep track of your breathing if all of a sudden it wasn't just an automatic thing your body does. I hope this writer's block will pass soon. Maybe having to work hard at this will help me to become a better writer and maybe I will start to appreciate my talents more instead of taking them for granted. It's crazy the little things that trip us up. Little crumbs in our daily path. I'm kind of hoping that telling someone about it will help. We'll see when I finish with Brandon Sanderson and start on the next book. In the meantime, I'm working up my gumption so I can interview Brandon Sanderson!! Wish me luck!

Starting again...again

This is my third time attempting blogging. I've been thinking about it lately but wasn't sure I'd keep with it since I haven't in the past. I usually have a lot going on in my mind that I'd like to share but since I've been being a stay at home mommy I've been needing an outlet even more. Elise is a pretty good listener but sometimes you just need someone older than 1 to talk to! Plus, I wondered who would want to read what I got bouncing around in my head anyway?? After reading a post by my sister-in-law, I felt inspired to start blogging again, even just for me. I want so badly to journal every day but I rarely write in my journal. It's more convenient to type than to write so even if no one else is reading, I will have a record for myself of what is going on in my life. This Roosey life! And maybe along the way I'll write something that will help someone else :) Thanks for reading! Here's to starting again!!