Turns out high hopes don't always make for good times. Looking back this month has gone by fast, I can't believe March is almost over! But despite that, it has been a long, hard month, with one thing after another continually building upon what I've already been dealing with for months. More than once I've reached my end.
In the middle of all these troubles there is one good moment that I would like to share...
Last week I had to take the dreaded, mandatory glucose test to see if I have Gestational Diabetes. I passed it no problem when I was pregnant with Elise, so all I was worried about was surviving waiting until 8:30 in the morning to eat. I survived the test but when I went in for my appointment my doctor told me that I had failed it by two points and would have to take the three hour glucose test.
Little did I know that meant no eating past midnight then going in every hour for three hours to get my blood drawn and not being able to eat until I was done! And I couldn't even drink water!
I get sooo sick when I don't eat, plus I hate needles, so I made sure that Dr. Syndergaard knew that I wasn't happy. I asked him if we could just ignore the two points but he ignored me.
So I sucked it up and planned to do it Saturday morning when Cody would be home to watch Elise while I languished in bed and had what I planned on being a totally miserable day.
Thursday night came around and it felt more right to just go in Friday morning and get it over with. I talked it over with Cody and he agreed with that decision and said he would watch Elise for me and even take her in to work for an hour for me. (I desperately needed some me time so he was making an extra effort to let me have some.)
I prepared the best I could Thursday night and then Cody got a call saying he needed to come in earlier than he had planned on Friday morning so he took Elise to grandma's house.
The terrible morning I had planned on actually turned out to be quite nice! In between going into the hospital to drink the glucose drink and get my blood drawn I laid on the couch and read my book in complete silence. It was heavenly. When I went in for the third time to get my blood drawn for the second time and I only had one more hour to go I actually felt really good! So good, in fact, that I hopped in the shower and luxuriated in getting ready without a child slowing me down. It wasn't until I had about 20 minutes left that I started to feel hungry. And it wasn't until I actually got my blood drawn for the last time that I felt like I was going to die if I didn't get food in me RIGHT NOW! All-in-all not only did I survive but the morning was a success!
As I was getting ready and feeling okay I felt very grateful and very blessed. I was listening to Pandora and the song "Beautiful Heartbreak" by Hilary Weeks came on. I love this song. I knew as I listened that it was only by the grace of God and His amazing tender mercies that I was able to have the morning I did and that doing the test was going so well. I also had the feeling that a part of the reason my week had--again--gone so badly was so that I would be able to see more clearly His hand in my day, and feel His love and KNOW that He was there and doing this for me. That He loves me.
When things are always going well it's easy to lose sight of Him in our day-to-day. I am thankful for the ways in which He reminds me that He is there, even when it means that I have to go through some hard times. I am just so grateful that He is there and that He cares.
I've noticed that more often than not, Heavenly Father has more than one reason for doing the things that He does.
That night the power went off in the middle of the night which made the smoke detector beep which woke up Elise who we then were both up with for about three hours. Come Saturday morning we were all exhausted, and there was no way that I would have made it to do the glucose test like I had planned. That afternoon one of Cody's crowns fell off and he has been in pain ever since. I am grateful that the Spirit whispered to me to go in on Friday and that I listened!
Today I finally heard back from the nurse about my results and I passed! She went on to tell me that I actually had tested low which probably means that I have Hypoglycemia. I have been wondering if I am Hypoglycemic because even when I am not pregnant I get really sick when I don't eat. I had even asked the Phlebotomist if there was a way they could test for it, but she wasn't sure. That information alone was worth the test.
I know that God is there. I know that He has a plan and I know that plan is what is best for us. I'm grateful that He knows each on of us individually and that He tailors our plans to us specifically.
